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Lavenia Ann Clamans
Poetry
Candles Flickering
Baghdad
Fear

September 11 2001

Operation Iraqi Freedom
First Time Authors - Barbie Durbin

It Never Stops
Barbie Durbin's poem

Betrayed

was any of it the truth
was it all a pack of lies
did you ever really love me
did you want me by your side
a year of my life is over
you took it all in stride
I believed and I trusted you
gone forever is my pride
learning all you took from me
I wished for you to die
you ask me to forgive you
I swear I'll never try

Barbie Durbin
Copyright 2002
All rights reserved

I am 41 years old. Mother of a daughter and son. I am writing a book based on
my life of abusive relationships. My hope is to be published and help other
women to receive help and get out of these situations. You can be healthy and
happy again.
My interview with Barbie Durbin

Montana (my miniature Schnauzer) and I live in Southern Missouri. I have two
wonderful children and three incredible grandsons,  and an equally wonderful
son-in-law.

I love eating out and we try to eat at every new restaurant if possible. I like to
cook and love to bake.

I love the Chicago Bears, D'Bears! I watch football all weekend and on Monday
nights. One of my greatest wishes now is to be on 'Oprah' I would love to be
included in her book club, and to go to a Bears game while I'm there.

Earlier this year I met my destiny when my new love  walked into my life. I know
what love, trust and respect truly are. My children go to sleep knowing their mom
is safe and Montana has a great 'Daddy.' I have peace of mind.

1. When did you first know you wanted to write? (lac)

I started writing when I was in Jr. High or Middle school as it is now called. I
knew I wanted to write a book in my early 20's, but thought it would be along the
lines of Danielle Steele or Nora Roberts.

2. What did you write first and did you keep it or
throw it away? (lac)

I wrote poems and a few short stories. They were usually to release emotions. I
kept some of them for a long time, but have long since been lost.

3. Did you always write poetry or did you start with
short stories or something else? (lac)

I started with poetry, but some of it would end up as short stories.

4. When was your poetry first published? How did it
make you feel? Was the struggle worth it? (lac)

My first poem was published a couple of years ago. It was one of those
companies who publish almost anything they are sent so that took some of the joy
out of it. The first time I really felt like it was worth reading was when you made it
your 'Poet of the Month.' When I saw my work on your site, then my name on my
book contract, it made it all worthwhile.

5. Do you write during a set time period or do you
write when a thought finally comes to fruition and you
simply must write it down? (lac)

This is a combination of the two. More so the writing when the thought comes to
me, a lot of times these thoughts end up as chapters. After I have some things on
paper, I sit and write, putting it all together. This is when I set time aside. I like to
be alone and tell everyone I will be writing and not to call unless it is an emergency.

6. How long did it take you to write your book and get
it published? (lac)

Marissa, my friend and editor, and I finished the editing almost eight months
before I found a publisher. It took six to seven months to write and edit. I sent out
copies of the first 50 pages to 9 publishers. It took a couple of months to hear
back from most of them.

7. What would you like other writers to know about the
writing life and how can you give them hope? (lac)

Don't quit your day job! Really it takes awhile for it all to come together. After the
contract is signed, it can still be a year before it is published. Then a few more
months before you see any royalties. Be patient, keep in mind with every no you
get your closer to a yes.

8. What would you like writers to know about writing
about a very difficult subject? (lac)

Prepare your family and friends. They needed to know if I called crying, or I was
in a really upset mood, I had been writing. My children heard hundreds of 'I'm
sorry, please forgive me.' Take time to cry or be upset. And if you need a shot of
tequila, have one!

9. Was there a feeling of closure, relief, after wards
or did it not help you personally? (lac)

My book started as a few lines now and then to help me personally. There is a
feeling of closure and relief for me. I am working on another book. It will be a
continuation of 'It Never Stops' because there are still things I need to tell.

10. Do you have advice for other women in your
situation? (lac)

Get out and get help. I have been through Doctors, medication and family
intervention. Nothing stops an abuser. It was up to me as it is up to you to save
yourself and start over. It took me almost six years after 'Brady' to find a great guy
and know what it is like to be loved just as I am and for who I am. There were a
couple of red flags before Cliff. I saw red, I walked off.
Girlfriends there is nothing like peace of mind, nothing.
Barbie now has a website of her own. It is
barbiedurbin.com
.
You can buy "It Never Stops" now! Just click on
the image below.
Ms Durbins book is the Book of the Month on the
Publish America web site. Congratulations Barbie!
Google
Copyright 1999 - 2006Aspiring Writers
All Rights Reserved


I first met Barbie when she submitted a poem for my Poet of the
Month page. She has now written a book about being a survivor of
abuse. She has gone on to rebuild her life and set an example for
her children.

Her book is in the process of being published by Publish America.
Go to the following address to order the book after August 4,
2004.
http://www.publishamerica.com
It Never Stops is a book for adults only. It is graphic both in
speech and in sexual scenes. It tells what it is like to be a victim of
verbal and physical abuse. It tells why one woman let it go on for
so long and how she came to know she was worthy of much,
much more in life. It is a story of courage and hope.

Barbie Durbin tells it like it is and from her heart. This is always
hard to do and she did it very well. It was a soul cleansing
experience and one she wanted to share with others.

No woman should let abuse continue. She could well end up
blind, crippled, and an invalid. Barbie relates how difficult it is to
get out of this type of situation.

Women should read this book and tell others about it so they can
see it can be done.

If you would like to communicate with Barbie Durbin please email
me at
LaveniaAnnClaman@aspiringwriters.biz and I will forward
your message.